The Davenports Sing: Five Steps

Throughout life, we experience many instances of grief. Grief can be caused by situations, relationships, or even substance abuse. Children may grieve a divorce, a wife may grieve the death of her husband, a teenager might grieve the ending of a relationship, or you might have received terminal medical news and are grieving your pending death. 

Read more: The Five Stages of Grief

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In 2010, my daughter overdosed on Oxycontin and Xanax in a hotel room in Orlando, Florida. Her death knocked the wind out of me. I didn't see it coming.

Bruce Abare and Jenn Musgrove

Bruce Abare

Well, that's not exactly true. Bruce died six months before. Jenn went downhill fast. I saw it. But after Bruce's death, I felt weak. For me, this was new. I always thought I was the strong one. He was quiet and reserved. But I always knew he had my back. This made me powerful When he died, I became puny. I will always believe, if Bruce were alive, Jenn would be alive.

Intervention

I'd never seen the A & E television show, Intervention, until after their deaths. For months, I marathon watched them on Netflix. I let myself cry like baby. Rather than pushing off those emotions, I met them head-on. A grown man in front of a television set - bawling, with snot running out of his nose - was not pretty. But it was needed.

Theme Song

The Davenports

The show had the most haunting theme song ever: Five Steps by The Davenports. Three cryptic verses and one chorus. Average words in a verse: twelve. Powerful. Terse. I think I know what the song means.

Interpretation

This song is about two people in love. He's an addict. They're both realists. They've been down this road before. They know what they're up against. No sugarcoating. Few words. They're both tired.

It is what it is.

Verse One

Veins swell 

You know me, Ellen, enough to tell 

Five steps you're over.

He's a needle addict, looking for a good vein to shoot into. His girlfriend, Ellen, wants him to quit. She knows him well enough to get what's happening. He tries to comfort her. The drugs have him. There are only five steps in Dr. Kubler-Ross stages of grief. Her sadness will soon be over.

Verse Two

Quick cut

Make your move, deliberate

Five steps you're over.

She challenges him. Addicts cut themselves. His girlfriend hurts. She knows his suicide wishes. 

"Don't keep scratching your skin with knives and needles. Make the cut quick; make it deliberate. We're only five steps away from peace for both of us."

Chorus

No reprimand

Deliberate, demand

With your two feet at hand.

No blame from her. She won't beg. It's a demand. He has two feet. He can leave the drugs behind.

Verse Three

Get back 

This train's a comin' down the track

Five steps you're over.

He's shot his drugs into his arm. The high has left the station. She needs to protect herself.  Five Stages of Grief and she's over him.

The Davenports
"Five Steps"